HOW TO IDENTIFY “RED FLAGS” IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP (PART 1)

It is very essential to get to know yourself in every possible way before you move into a committed relationship. Often, individuals go in search of a relationship without this essential knowledge. But how can you ever hope to know another individual if you don’t know yourself first? How can you address another’s needs and desires if you're disconnected from your own? As obvious as these issues may appear, and as much as you may feel you understand them intellectually, it should come as no surprise that what initially seems unimportant may take on greater significance as insights occur over the course of the relationship. In retrospect, individuals are often baffled about their own behavior and expectations in a relationship.

Learn to ask the hard questions out of the gate, the first or second time you meet someone, before opinions are solidly formed. Most of us seem to do much better when we have no real expectations of someone, because we hardly know who they are and are not yet trying to impress them. So watch for red flags—(indicators that something needs to be questioned or otherwise validated). Often these are clues that something may be trouble in the future. Here are 10 key relational red flags to look out for:

1.    

LACK OF COMMUNICATION: Once you find out that your intending partner finds it difficult to talk about issues or express how he/she feels, then, there is need to pause and think. Often when it would seem most important to be open and honest, you find he/she distancing his/herself emotionally leaving you hanging or having to deal with a situation solely one your own. Anyone who loves you and is ready to be committed to the relationship, even if he/she be an introvert will try to be as open and vocal as possible for the sake of the relationship. So should you find that this is not happening, then, you may need to have a re-think!

2.     IRRESPONSIBLE, IMMATURE AND UNPREDICTABLE: There are people who have trouble mastering basic life skills like taking care of themselves, managing their finances and personal space, holding unto a job, and making plans for their lives and future. Usually when small crises surrounding the way they live their daily lives surfaces, they seem to take so much energy from them and a lot of time to eventually settle in may be a lot of trouble. this way, there may be very little time and energy left for you and your issues. These people are still working on growing up so it may be hard to depend on them for anything least of all “Emotional Tasks”. Plan on taking a walk once you notice this.

3.     LACK OF TRUST: When a person has problems being honest with himself or herself, then it will definitely be hard for them to be honest with you. Some of these behaviors may not be planned, calculated or malicious but simply a learned way or habit of coping. Once you find out that your intending couple finds it hard to hold himself or herself accountable for his/her actions then be rest assured that he/she definitely lacks integrity

And respect for you. You may feel (and rightly so) that there are a lot of “missing pieces”, so much that you don’t know or that is purposely hidden from you.

More points will be shared in the second part of this post so keep a date with me until I come your way next time…………..